Living on Fairy Floss

Oh dear, Mr Morrison. Prime Minister of our lucky country. Elected by us. Yes, we are so very very lucky to have this guy.

When ever he opens his mouth, more spin comes out than from a fairy floss machine, more dog whistle than from a truckload of kangaroo meat, more gaslighting than from the annals of Conan Doyle’s fiction.

Substance? Action? Forward planning? Who wants these when you can get away with spin?

But, surprise surprise, the G7 is not so impressed with his spin as the Australian electorate seems to be. Something to do with the Australian addiction to fossil fuels. So, to where can the poor guy turn? To the arms of his coalition partner in government? Hasn’t somebody told Morrison there’s a taipan in his bedroll?

What are some examples of the yarn Morrison has spun to us in lieu of action? There are so many examples. Here are just a few.

Early in 2020, in an apparent attempt to forestall necessary but inconvenient action, he maintained we could open up the country to the rest of the world safely and quickly. Like tomorrow. For the sake of the economy. Preferring no action to any and every action, he also pressed his view that free movement across State borders should be maintained at all costs and then frowned at the idea of lock-downs. The State Premiers and Chief Ministers of the Territories making up the National Cabinet were having none of this preference of his for inertia and the easy life. What might have happened had they caved in to him doesn’t bear thinking.

Later in 2020, without batting an eyelid, he took credit for the success of the measures the States had forced him to adopt, reassuring us in the process that the AstraZeneca vaccine, made mostly in Australia, would be available early in the new year, in time to save the economy. Rather than going to the trouble of ordering a suite of different vaccines, hedging bets so to speak, he took the easy way out, putting almost all of his eggs in the AstraZeneca basket. A telling mistake for which we are now paying a steep price.

Early in 2021, he assured the public that hotel quarantine was 99.9% successful at stopping the virus from getting into the community. This is a blatant misuse of statistics, and classic Morrison spin. It’s the 0.1% that matters, not the 99.9%. Think about it. Would you take to the water in a boat whose hull was 99.9% intact?

Apparently not happy with the rate of vaccine rollout, a rate for which he must take the lion’s share of responsibility, he started to repeat over and over as if it were an advertising slogan, ‘It’s not a race, it’s not a race.’ But b’Jesus, the drover’s dog knows this is a race, and one the virus is surely winning.

Arms flailing like a drowning man, he took four different positions in just about as many months as regards the deployment of the AstraZeneca vaccine. First, it was for everyone, all in their turn of course. Then, it was only for those over fifty. Then, it was only for those over sixty. Now, it’s for anyone who wants the stuff, with the assured indemnity of the GPs who administer it. If you were not vaccine hesitant before, then perhaps you are now.

The list of examples of Morrison’s spin just goes on, an endless and (to me) infuriating blather. New examples are being added almost on a daily basis. The latest is a ‘new deal’ on our response to Covid, which is, in essence, no different from the seriously flawed ‘old deal’. No action is necessary, when you can just re-brand the tired old stuff.

When are we going to realize we can’t live on fairy floss?